A List of Reality TV Shows That I Enjoyed But No Longer Exist

While I was watching the reunion part of the season finale of Project Runway several weeks ago, I got really bored because for some reason the models were invited and actually allowed to talk and WOW models are boring!  This got me to thinking about this old show on VH1 called America's Most Smartest Model, which had models but was also very entertaining and funny.  What happened to that show!  I enjoyed it!

Here is a list of reality TV shows that I enjoyed but no longer exist:

1. America's Most Smartest Model - loooooooved this one!  Basically, the point of this show was to accentuate the legendary stupidity of models in a way that other shows about models, like America's Next Top Model, had never done.  Of course, model stupidity is a huge part of ANTM, but it is not the main point of the show (that's top modelling, duh).  On America's Most Smartest Model, the competition was (mostly) all about the smarts, and how to test them in a clever and amusing fashion.  For example, in the Model Mansion there were locks on the bathroom and fridge doors which kept them from being opened until a smart model keyed in the answer to a mathematical equation or history question.  That was funny!  And Ben Stein was the host, which was great.

But what made this show really great were the absolute GEMS of reality television personalities, which ran the full spectrum from self-aware and smart (and very good looking!)  to cartoony and mind-numbingly dumb (but very good looking!).  Andre, the super-Russian real-life Zoolander was, of course, the best.  Watch this clip of the first episode (which I just discovered is on Hulu, along with the entire season!  Tomorrow will not be a productive day for me!)!

"What's wrong with you?" "Nothing, I'm Russian."  CLASSIC.  Andre ranks high on my List of the Best Reality TV Characters Ever, which I just made up (it also includes New York, Santino and Jeffrey from Project Runway, Marcel and Stefan from Top Chef, and that one guy from Beauty and the Geek).  Anyways, this was a great show and I am very confused as to why it did not ever get a second season?  I really enjoyed it!

2.  Kept - also on VH1, this show followed famed cougar and Mick Jagger-divorceé Jerry Hall on her quest to find a "kept man" to bring to parties and drive around in fancy cars with.  I enjoyed it because it was ridiculously English, with competitions involving polo-playing and the cooking of spotted dick, for example.  Like America's Most Smartest Model, Kept also benefited from having a solid bunch of personalities.  This included a splendid mix of funny guys and sleazy Eurotrash with fancy names.  One fact I remember is that two contestants were named Maurizio and Slavco.  True story!

 

I enjoyed this show.  Why did it have to DIE?

3.  Showbiz Moms and Dads - classic show on Bravo about the sad, sad lives of a bunch of spoiled  children and their delusional parents.  I think it was pretty revolutionary because it was the first of Bravo's many, MANY reality TV shows about the sad lives of obnoxious fame-starved people.  Not a good thing, to be sure, but it was entertaining  and I enjoyed it.   What happened?

4.  Showdog Moms and Dads - also on Bravo, this was basically Showbiz Moms and Dads but with DOGS instead of children.  Sort of like a real-life Best in Show but with even crazier people.  Crazy Vagina Lady, anyone?  Crazy Vagina Lady:

 

5.  The 70's House - this was a show on MTV in which a bunch of young people had to live in a house with no microwave for a while and were sent home if they mentioned American Idol or whatever.  I enjoyed it because it was like a fun, campy version of those great shows they used to do on PBS where a modern family was sent to a remote farm in Wyoming/fancy-but-toiletless estate in England and would have to live like pioneers/19th century aristocrats.  Speaking of which, what happened to THOSE?

Well, that's all I can think of.  Did I miss anything MAJOR?