A List of Kanye's Best Tweets

Kanye West has long been one of my most favorite and fascinating people, largely because everything he says is either ridiculous or hilarious or stupid or brilliant in a weird way.  For this reason, his twitter account is one of the BEST THINGS EVER, no lie.  It's an endless stream of pure Yeezy word gold.  It's not the best source material for Kanyoetry, but hey.  Here's a list of Kanye's best tweets:

9. 

 

8. 

7. 

6. 

5. 

4. 

3.  (This one is technically two but I like the progression here.)

2. 

1. 

A List of People in Chile Who Have Known I was a Gringa Before Hearing a Word Come out of My Mouth

There have been many!  I always think it's kind of weird how people just KNOW I'm a gringa just by looking at me, because there are loads of sickly pale white people here, just like myself.  But it might be because I don't look like THIS lady all the time (or ever!):

 (That's a fanny pack, by the way, NOT A PURSE.  You're welcome for the flawless photoshopping.)

1.  Guy in Plaza de Armas - I was sitting by a fountain, taking in the sights like a normal resident of Santiago, NOT A TOURIST, and this guy sat down by me and said "Eres de aqui?" and I had to tell him ALL ABOUT how I was not from "aqui."

2.  Kid at the Exercise Park - I was on the body-spinning machine when this 4 or 5-year-old kid on the other spinner asked me if I was from Chile.

3.  Helado vendor in Parque O'Higgins - I went up to a helado vendor to buy a helado and before I was able to say "Un helado chirimoya, porfa" in my best Chilean accent, this guy said "Hello!" and then continued to talk to me in English throughout our helado exchange.

4.  Little girl at the place where I intern - The first time I went there and was introduced to the kids as the new volunteer, one girl said "Eres gringa?" and I was like "Si, soy de los Estados Unidos" and then she was like "MOTHERFUCKER!"

5.  Some random kid looking out a window I passed - I was walking down the street and heard a loud "HELLO!" from a random kid looking out a window.

6.  Bunch of kids in a school van I passed - I was walking down the street and a bunch of kids in a school van shouted "HELLO!" and "HI!" at me.

I saw this movie called Perfume and it was ridiculous

In the house where I am currently living in Chile there are five movies on DVD, most of which I have had little to no interest in watching.  They include Basic Instinct 2, Something's Gotta Give, Collateral, and a documentary on Chilean musical hero Victor Jara (well, that one I'll probably watch sometime.  He's the guitarist whose hands were chopped off by Pinochet back in the day.  Very interesting!). The fifth, however, was of great interest to me because it starred the girl who played Wendy in the perfectly delightful live action Peter Pan movie and this other guy from several delightful Victorian period romances I had recently seen.  So I figured Perfume: The Story of a Murderer would also be delightful.  Turns out it wasn't really delightful, but very ridiculous.  Unbelievably ridiculous.  LET ME TELL YOU WHY.

I didn't know anything about Perfume: The Story of a Murderer before I watched it.  The DVD case was in Dutch and the menu was in Russian so they offered me no clues.  I just assumed it was about a murderer, perhaps one who was also a perfumist.  Turns out I was right, but also there was also SO MUCH MORE!!!  So many smelly faces, dramatic stirring scenes, Dustin Hoffman in powdered wigs and with terrible accents, massive orgies, dramatic smelling scenes AND MORE.  Here, watch this trailer!