American Skins is pretty okay now, I guess

This last episode was pretty okay.  I actually laughed out loud a few times!  Mostly at the guy who plays Tony's acting, because it is nearing The Room-level proportions of bad (I am not even kidding.  It is THAT BAD.  I think I'll have to keep watching this show to laugh at Tony's acting, if nothing else).  Anyways, this was a Cadie episode, and so it was mostly very different from the original Cassie episode, since they are sort of not the same character.

THE BASICS:  Cadie's dad is a taxidermist, which I guess is where she gets her fondness for knives from.  Her mom is a self-absorbed ex-pageant queen.  They don't like to pay much attention to her so she goes to a lot of doctors for help with her mental issues, which include OCD and having a phobia of pigeons, but they just give her a lot of pills.  One doctor tells Cadie she should spend more quality time with her parents, so she goes hunting with her dad.  She almost shoots him at one point?  Stanley tells Cadie to come to this party Michelle's having.  "Yay, a date with Stanley!" she says, but Stanley is like "whatever dude, just bring loads of pills.  PILLS PILLS PILLS!"  She goes to the party, and everyone there is like "PILLS?" and she is like "yup, pills" and gives them all her pills.  They all do lots of pills.  Michelle's mom gets really drunk, which is like so totally embarrassing for Michelle.  Also, Michelle's mom's boyfriend is super creepy and hits on Cadie a lot.  Stanley ignores Cadie and instead goes off to Michelle's room for his first wank scene.  Cadie spies on Tony and Tea, who are having a heated argument about FEELINGS.  Tony is like "We had sex, Tea!  Stop ignoring me!  Whine whine whine!" and Tea is like "dude, I'm a lesbian!"  Then Tea tells Cadie that Stanley doesn't like her and he just invited her to the party because he wanted her PILLS.  Brutal!  So Cadie, like, starts to make out with Michelle's mom's boyfriend to make him jealous or something?  Stanley is concerned.  Then Cadie goes home and takes lots of pills, but for medical reasons.

New American Skins marginally better

So, this last episode was episode was probably the best of the new American Skins WHICH IS NOT SAYING A LOT but still, it's nice to see that it is improving, albeit ever so slightly.  This one was another nearly shot-for-shot remake of an episode from the original Skins, which means I judged it very harshly for not being as good, but also it was objectively pretty okay because the episode it was based on was a very good episode with some neat story lines and nice writing, which try as they might, these kids were not able to fuck up entirely (what a lovely and coherent compliment, Lauren!). 

BASICS:  You will remember, of course, Chris' first episode, where his mom leaves him a huge wad of cash and he has a huge party and then finds out his mom abandoned him and then a hobo kicks him out of his house and he has to walk to school naked and the gang helps him find clothes to wear but he still doesn't have a place to live so he goes to see his estranged step-family and then drops their baby and then has a heartfelt chat with Jal about his dead brother and then the teacher he likes finds him a place to live?  Well, that's what happened here, except THE BABY WAS NOT DROPPED.

SKINS: In which everyone GOES TO HARVARD OH YEAH

 So, this was the last episode of season 4 and also the last episode EVER with this batch of ridiculous teenagers oh how sad.  It was okay!  RECAP:

We start out with a montage of gang goes about their business.  Emily is waking up with some random chick who is not Naomi, Naomi is sulking, Cook is banging some chick, Thomas is running.  We get the sense that Thomas runs a lot now and is pretty good at it.  Good for him!  Running is a great way to get in shape.  Freddie is not in the montage because he's dead, probably.  His sister finds a note in his room saying "I'm going away for a bit" but this seems suspect because all of his stuff is still there.  HMMM.  

Pandora and Katie visit Effy in the mental health clinic.  Pandora sings Effy a song to cheer her up, which is very sweet of her, although the lyrics could have been a bit more sensitive.  "Please don't slit your wrists anymore"?  Really, Pandora?  Anyways, the girls lift Effy's spirits.  Yay!  But then it turns out the crazy psychiatrist who killed Freddie is spying on Effy, and he has an expression on his face which is more "I want to practice unethical hypnosis on this pretty teenage girl and if someone tries to stop me I will bash their heads in" than "What a lovely song, Pandora!"  OH NO.

Cook is telling Naomi about how he is totally moving on from Effy.  "I'm totally moving on from Effy," he says.  Naomi scoffs because he is so not moving on.  That chick he was just banging looks just like Effy!  But she farts a lot!  Yuck! 

The crazy psychiatrist talks to Effy and tells her she can go home again.  Effy is like "Thanks for the help, guy.  I'll never forget you" and the crazy psychiatrist puts on his best creeper face and is like "No, no you won't ever forget me *coughbecauseIjustkilledyourboyfriendLOLcough* No, that is for sure!"  

The new American Skins is still pretty horrid, but not as horrid as before

It's getting a little bit better, I think?  Though that might just be because this second episode was a Tea episode, and Tea, you will remember, is pretty much the only person who can act on this dreadful show.  Also, this one wasn't an exact replica of an episode from the original series.  It was entirely new, actually!  Still pretty terrible, though.

BASICS:  The gang is eats lunch at school.  Stanley is a fucking pig and has food smeared all over his face.  Tony tries to get Tea to flash everyone at the next football game because of a bet she lost or something?  Tea has a very noisy family.  They are all Jewish and Italian, which we know because their house is practically a museum of menorahs and Italian flags.  And her dad has an Italian restaurant and works for the mafia.  They have no idea Tea is a lesbian, even though she's always going out clubbing on school nights and bringing home girls for noisy lesbian sex.  Tea has to go on a date with Tony because it would help her dad's mafia connections?  They go to a playground and get drunk, then Tea takes Tony to an empty bar?  And they make out and have sex, like normal straight guys and lesbians do?  Something something, Tea's senile grandmother had an affair with a lesbian during the Holocaust.  Then at school, the girl she took home the other day kisses her in front of everyone so now the entire school knows they are lesbians, which could be problematic because now the other cheerleaders won't want to do that one classic cheerleading move where they hoist you up in the air by your boobs?

SKINS: AAAAAAAAH NO WHAT IS THIS

So, we are almost done with the real Skins now.  Just one episode left after this one!  This last episode, which was an Effy episode, was . . . interesting, shall we say.  Still not sure how I feel about it?  Anyways.  Let's just get to the RECAP.

Effy is now living at a mental health clinic and seeing a psychiatrist because of how she is severely depressed these days.  AW YEAH ANOTHER FUNTIMES EPISODE.  He seems like a pretty reasonable adult.  Let's be honest, he's a bit intense, but he seems alright, and it's good that Effy is getting some professional help.  He tells her to forgot all the bad things that ever happened to her, like when she saw Tony get mowed over by that bus ages ago.  Interesting.  Also, it turns out her name is Elizabeth, which closes the case on Skins Mystery #327, What is 'Effy' Short For? 

The psychiatrist thinks Effy is ready to go home again, so she goes home.  Her mom helps her get situated, and shows her around her room, which is really clean and organized now.  There's no cocaine in sight even!  Next, Effy goes to visit Freddie for the first time since she tried to kill herself and he saved her life but then she got mad at him for saving her life and told him to fuck off (that was a fun episode!).  He's really happy to see her.  It's nice that he's been so kind to Effy during this difficult time.  He must really love her!  Harmonicas play loudly over dialogue.