The other day I watched this movie called Kidulthood. I had wanted to see it because some kids from Skins were in it (but BARELY!), as well as Mickey from Doctor Who, and because a "gritty, powerful drama set in the unforgiving confines of the concrete jungle of North London" sounds like a rip-roaring good time to me. Boy, was I wrong! It was one helluva depressing movie. Basically, it was like Skins: The Movie but with heaps of violence and way more gangsters and it's set in Gritty North London. Also, it turns out Mickey from Doctor Who, aka Noel Clarke, not only played the most unlikable character in a movie full of unlikable characters but also wrote it. So good job, I guess? It was very gritty and powerful and unforgiving. And it was kind of . . . interesting, and well-acted and it looked nice. But it was so fucking depressing! In commemoration of this event (this event = me watching a depressing movie), I've decided to compile a list of the most depressing movies I have ever seen*. Yay, funtimes!
- Dancer in the Dark - oh man, this one was AWFUL. Like, it was very well made, and it had excellent acting (good job, Bjork!) and lovely music (good job, Bjork!), but come on, there is no need for any movie to be that depressing, especially if it is not about the Holocaust. That's just not right. Also, I'm not one to get too emotionally attached while watching a movie, but I literally cried buckets when I watched this. BUCKETS. Lars von Trier probably saw Schindler's List and was like, "Nope, not sad enough, and not nearly enough music and dancing." Anyways, I liked certain things about it, but it was very cruel of Lars von Trier to make such a monumentally depressing non-Holocaust movie and dupe me into watching it because of Bjork. I guess what I'm saying is, fuck you, Lars von Trier.
- Ray - oh look, another movie about a blind musician!
- 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days (aka the Romanian Abortion Movie) - I really liked this one, even though it is literally an Abortion Movie. That's what happens. It was easily one of the most horrific movies I have ever seen, and apparently it was based on a true story which just makes it worse. Total nightmare fuel, but I liked it because I learned so much. About Romania and abortions!
- Million Dollar Baby - woohoo, a fun tale about euthanasia, death, old people, and sexism! Just what I wanted!
- The Wind That Shakes the Barley - this was that movie with Cillian Murphy about the Irish War of Independence, which was a very sad war so of course the movie is very sad. It was also very good, though! And I learned a lot about Ireland!
- American History X - best movie about neo-Nazis, racism, prison rapes, and brutal violence EVER
- This is England - probably my favorite Terribly Depressing Movie, mostly because it wasn't oppressively depressing the entire time. Some of it was actually fun! Plus, England, so, you know . . .
- Before the Devil Knows You're Dead - technically a good movie, but there was not a single fun or enjoyable part in the whole thing. Plus, it was SET IN A STRIP MALL IN NEW JERSEY. Yuck.
That's about it, then. I'm sure I've forgotten some, but whatever. Oh no, I forgot the DEATH TRILOGY! New bullet!
- Amores Perros, 21 Grams, and Babel (aka the DEATH TRILOGY) - these ones are all pretty depressing, but 21 Grams is definitely the worst (I'd say it's in the top 5 of the Most Depressing Movies I Have Ever Seen list). They all involve a Tragic Car Crash and probably drugs or whatever, so yeah. Babel ended on a nicer note than the others but it didn't make me "depressed" so much as "feeling really bad about being an American right now, thanks a lot Mexican director Alejandro Gonzalez Iñarritú." Amores Perros is awesome, it's really great, but all the dog fighting and lonely homeless hitman was pretty sad.
* I didn't include any Holocaust movies because I generally hate them very much**, plus they're all terribly depressing and that would make for a boring list. Schindler's List is probably a great movie, but I never want to see it. I've heard it is the most depressing movie Of All Time, and also the Definitive Holocaust Movie. But what I don't understand is, if Schindler's List is such a great, Holocaust-y movie, then why the fuck are new Holocaust movies still being made ALL THE TIME?!?! Are there really people that need reminding through film that the Holocaust was the greatest human tragedy ever? And if so, why can't those people just fucking RENT SCHINDLER'S LIST or read Anne Frank's diary? I don't get it.
** except Life is Beautiful, which I liked very much (mostly because the first half is a delightful, lighthearted comedy with only the slightest traces of Holocaust)

