SKINS: the gang learns about friendship and MARRIAGE

So, this last episode was the finale of season 5.  Already!  We have finished.  I thought it was pretty great!  I mean, it certainly made me FEEL a lot of FEELINGS, and that's definitely a good thing.  But I'm not sure if the 25% delightful romp through the English countryside, 25% adorable rom com, 25% hilarious bromance, and 25% getting-lost-in-the-woods horror movie thing was tonally dissonant, as they say, or brilliant?  I think I'll go with brilliant, just because I enjoyed all of those parts.  It was all good!  I laughed, I thought "ooh, that's pretty," I went "aww!" and I feared for someone's life!  SUCCESS!

Montage time!  Grace is prepping for her MARRIAGE, Rich and Alo are recovering from what looks to have been a craaaaazy stag night, Liv is moodily smoking a giant spliff, etc. etc.  Franky leaves a note at Matty's, saying something like "Stop giving me googly eyes, it makes my head hurt."  Matty sees it and is like "huh."  Mini shows up and is like "Be nice to Franky, she is a precious snowflake!  And stop giving her googly eyes, I want to give her googly eyes now, too!" and Matty is like "Alright."

Everyone is getting ready for the wedding!  Franky used her vast mental deposits of creativity and sartorial know-how to craft up some lovely dresses for all the girls.  Grace looks so pretty!  The cake looks delicious!  Meanwhile, Rich got a haircut :O and now he looks like a metal Justin Bieber :O but also it looks very nice!  Good for Rich!  Clean starts, new beginnings, opening an exciting new chapter in the book of life!  It's all very exciting.

The gang head off for the wedding, but not before Mr. Blood gifts Grace with a fashionable bug pin, which is also a BUG, like the sneaky tracking device kind.  Yikes!  Watch out, Grace!  

LOOK at this mixing of plaids!!

So, the wedding is way outside of Bristol, somewhere in the dangerous English countryside.  The roads are so rugged and treacherous out there!  Alo's van breaks down and now the gang are stranded in the middle of nowhere, looking all sad and dejected in their fancy wedding outfits.

Some of the gang try to find out where to go and Matty just whips out some COCAAAAAAINE.  Grace yells at Franky for goofing off, but it's okay because she's so fabulous and she's probably really stressed about her WEDDING anyway.   Then!  Daisy from Spaced shows up in a CAR and is like "I can give TWO of you a ride!" 

DAISY FROM SPACED!!

So Grace and Rich ride off with Daisy from Spaced to the church, and along the way they learn a valuable lesson about how being married makes some people lame.  Daisy's husband used to be into Napalm Death!  Mad cool.  But now he's some sort of lame hippie.  And Rich is like, clearly making a mental note to not become a lame hippie.

Meanwhile, the rest of the gang splits off into separate groups WHILE IN THE OUTSIDE-OF-BRISTOL FORESTS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.  Fuck guys, you've got to be CAREFUL OUT THERE!!!  Franky runs off with Matty and Liv to do some more COCAIIIIINE.  They go to an abandoned wine festival, and Liv has one of those ~intimate moments~ with Franky that everyone has been so into lately.  Matty is like so confused now.  Then Liv has a Serious Relationship Talk with him, and she's all like "Stop liking her, Matty!  I am the only person who can like you!  Also, I would totally swallow RAZOR BLADES if you wanted me to!"  and Matty is like "um, please don't do that!" and then he runs after Franky.  They finally have a talk about their feelings and Franky tells a sad story about how she's such a weirdo and no one understands her, and Matty is like "I KNOW, RIGHT?!?!" and then they make out and stuff, but then here is where things get confusing.  It's clear that something is VERY WRONG because there is a lot of super intense horror movie music playing in the background instead of some jaunty pop tune.  Anyways, Matty is making lots of moves on her, and then she freaks out and runs off into the woods and falls off this cliff, but Liv and Mini save her and then Matty comes over and Liv and Mini are like "UM did you just rape Franky!?" and he's like "NO WAY, why would you think that!"  Awkward!

 

While this is going on, Nick is having a great time goofing off while Alo does all the heavy-lifting navigational work.  Mini goes off somewhere, probably.  Then Nick falls into a . . . bear trap?  Yikes!  It looks painful!  Alo helps him out, though, and they make it to the church faster than anyone else!  Which is great because now Grace and Rich's friends can be their wedding witnesses.  Then everyone else starts showing up!  Liv and Mini!  Franky and Matty!  And . . . PROFESSOR BLOOD?!?!  Yes, Professor Blood.  He's like "Grace, stop getting married.  You're a child and this is stupid!  I hate your grimey friends!  Stop it!" and Grace is like "No way, Dad!  I can do what I want!" and then Professor Blood is like "but but but YOU'RE ALL EXPELLED!  How do you like that!?" and the gang is angry but then Nick wows everyone with a very thoughtful, articulate speech about how hard it is to be a teenager these days.

"It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world out there!"

Professor Blood is like, "Fine, then.  I give up!  You are too persuasive, Nick!" and then he leaves.  Grace and Rich don't get married, but they agree to continue being super cute boyfriends and girlfriends.  Good for them!  Then everyone goes to some show in a tent somewhere, and it looks very fun.  Liv breaks up with Matty, and then she and Mini give Franky a pep talk about how she's totally not weird and definitely a great person with whom they love to be friends.  But Franky still feels weird about that thing with Matty, so she texts him and is like "R U OKEY?" and Matty is like "R U OKEY?" and Franky is like "YS I M FINE.  I JUST DON'T KNOW WHICH SEXUAL ORIENTATION I BELONG INTO YET.  FRENDZ?" and Matty is like "FRENDZ!" and they have a nice hug.  Friendship!  Friendship all around!

   

THOUGHTS:

• Grace and Rich!  SO CUTE.  
• Everyone loves Franky now!  The tables have truly turned here, full circle.  Instead of wanting to ruin Franky's life, Mini like wants to make out with her or something.  And she's even wearing suspenders!  JUST LIKE FRANKY.   

         

          The power of friendship, that is.

• Nick was so funny!  I'm glad he's not such a dick anymore.  Also, he fell into a K-hole, which is not a hole in the ground for traps but rather "a slang term for a subjective state of dissociation from the body which may mimic the phenomenology of schizophrenia, out of body experiences or near death experiences, and is often accompanied by feelings of extreme derealization, depersonalization and disorientation, as well as temporary memory loss and vivid hallucinations."  The more you know!
• What about that thing with Franky!  I totally thought she was going to get r-worded for a couple seconds there, because that would have explained why there was never a Matty episode.  He couldn't have been part of the gang if he was a rapist!  Yikes!  But I'm glad that didn't happen, because I like Matty and it would really put a damper on things if he turned out to be a rapist. 
• No cliffhanger!

OTHER THOUGHTS:

• I really enjoyed this season!  It was pretty great overall!  No major complaints, even!  It was fun and sad and ridiculous and touching and funny and full of drugs and fashion and quality acting.  What more could I possibly want!?!?
• Grace, of course, was the best part of this season.  Look, I figured out how to make a Blingee in order to celebrate this 100% true fact! 

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Congrats, Grace!  I wonder who will win NEXT SEASON's Blingee?!?!  Speaking of which:

PREDICTIONS:

• WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT???  What's at the bottom of the SKINS HATCH??  It's very important that we figure this out!  To do so, we must examine a variety of patterns that always emerge in the second season of a generation:   
• What will be the traumatic event that causes everyone to reevaluate their place in life and become all moody and depressed, at last for a few eps, a la Tony getting run over and that one girl dying because of drugs?  I'm guessing another horrific death, perhaps from a stray bullet from Franky's antique gun :O or from Alo drunk-driving the tractor and running someone over :O
• Who will we grow to love after having hated so, so much in the first season, a la Tony and Cook?  Mini, for sure.  
• Which previously amazing and lovable character will become unbearably moody and unpleasant after their once adorable relationship falls into shambles and they become ~disillusioned with love~, a la Cassie and Emily?  PLEASE NOT GRACE.  I wouldn't be able to handle that :( 
• Which awesome and sartorially inspiring character continues to be awesome and sartorially inspiring, a la Chris and JJ?  Grace, of course!  <3 <3 <3 forever.
• Which actor from Peep Show will be someone's parent, a la Naomi's mom and Cook's dad?  David Mitchell!!  Is Liv's dad!!!  I'M CALLING IT NOW.  (also, while we're on the topic, this is funny and somewhat relevant because Grace and the Bloods are really posh?)
• Which popular male character will die a painful, bloody death in the penultimate episode, a la Chris and Freddie?  Probably Matty.  He does a lot of drugs.  It just makes sense!  
• Whose fate will remain frustratingly unanswered in the final moments of the finale, a la Sid (did he ever find Cassie??  New York is a big city WHAT IF HE NEVER FOUND HER?!?!) and Cook (did he die or WHAT?!?!)?  Franky, I suppose?  She'd be a wreck once Matty dies.