Tuesday, May 18, 2010

A List of Reality TV Shows That I Enjoyed But No Longer Exist

While I was watching the reunion part of the season finale of Project Runway several weeks ago, I got really bored because for some reason the models were invited and actually allowed to talk and WOW models are boring!  This got me to thinking about this old show on VH1 called America's Most Smartest Model, which had models but was also very entertaining and funny.  What happened to that show!  I enjoyed it!

Here is a list of reality TV shows that I enjoyed but no longer exist:

1. America's Most Smartest Model - loooooooved this one!  Basically, the point of this show was to accentuate the legendary stupidity of models in a way that other shows about models, like America's Next Top Model, had never done.  Of course, model stupidity is a huge part of ANTM, but it is not the main point of the show (that's top modelling, duh).  On America's Most Smartest Model, the competition was (mostly) all about the smarts, and how to test them in a clever and amusing fashion.  For example, in the Model Mansion there were locks on the bathroom and fridge doors which kept them from being opened until a smart model keyed in the answer to a mathematical equation or history question.  That was funny!  And Ben Stein was the host, which was great.

Monday, April 26, 2010

My Victorian Lost Episode

I wrote an episode of Lost featuring characters from classic Victorian literature for my lit class.  It might make zero sense if you haven't read Middlemarch or Jude the Obscure; my apologies. 

Previously on Lost:  While en route to Australia, a ship crashes onto a seemingly deserted tropical island during a violent storm.  There are nine survivors: the recently widowed DOROTHEA, her acquaintance WILL, the physician LYDGATE, Lydgate’s wife ROSAMOND, the wealthy banker BULSTRODE, his wife MRS. BULSTRODE, the stonemason JUDE, Jude’s lover SUE, and Jude’s young son FATHER TIME.  Some survivors quickly sort through the wreckage of the ship and make plans for survival as they are unsure when or if they will be rescued.  Others have difficulty becoming acclimated to their new environment.  LYDGATE and JUDE emerge as de facto leaders of the group, promptly putting their respective medical and physical labor skills to good use.  As the survivors begin to explore their surroundings, it becomes clear that they are not alone on the island; there is a SMOKE MONSTER, too.  It attacks them on their first night on the island, but no one is seriously injured. 

[Shot of JUDE gathering boulders inland from the beach.]

JUDE:  Lydgate, Will, Bulstrode!  May I request some help moving these stones?

WILL: [Grabs a large boulder.] Certainly.  Pardon my asking, Jude, but what was your occupation before we found ourselves in this unfortunate situation?  You are very good at constructing makeshift shelters on tropical islands, especially for someone of such high intellect!

JUDE: Well, I was a stonemason.  [Pauses.  Looks at Will.]  Though, to be honest, I once desired to be a learned man, a scholar of great renown.  But I gave up that dream.  I found I didn’t care for social success any more at all.  I feel, with out current condition, I should like to do some good thing for the others here (1).  And how about yourself, Will?

WILL: I was something of a wonderer before coming here.  I had little family to speak of, so I learned to work my own way and depend on nobody else than myself (11). 

[LYDGATE approaches JUDE and WILL]

LYDGATE: Bulstrode won’t be joining us; he says he has a pain in his head (2). Personally, I am of the opinion that he does not want to dirty his hands with us; I think he dislikes physical labor.

JUDE: What a strange fellow.  Earlier when I spoke with him, he gave me the impression that such work was not fit for him.  What was his occupation in Middlemarch?  You both know him well, do you not?

LYDGATE: Indeed, yes.  [Places boulder on pile.]  Bulstrode is a banker, a very powerful man in our town.  However, he is not popular in the least.  Personally, I look upon him quite impartially, as he has aided me financially in my medical efforts.  But he has a reputation for being masterful and rather unsociable, and he is concerned with trade (3).

WILL: He’s primarily concerned with his own interests, as far as I can tell.  He seems to enjoy the company of members of his own class above all others, which may explain why he is unwilling to haul stones with the rest of us.

LYDGATE: Unfortunately, in this stupid world most people never consider that a thing is good to be done unless it is done by their own set (3).

[Shot of BULSTRODE and MRS. BULSTRODE sitting under a palm tree, at a distance from the others.]

WILL: Which means we most likely will not have this shelter completed by nightfall . . .

JUDE: [With a frightened expression] . . . and then who knows if we will be safe from that . . . that thing.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Is Lost great or what!


This season has been really quality so far, don't you agree?  What an excellent show!  My brain is too lazy to THEORIZE now, so here are some of my general THOUGHTS on the last couple episodes:
  • I'm liking the alterna-timeline stuff.  What a great idea that was, writers of Lost!  I like how the differences between the two realities were quite subtle at first (the flight attendant gives Jack two bottles of vodka instead of one) but are getting progressively wackier (Locke's dad apparently didn't steal his kidney and shove him out of an eight-story window, and Jack has a teenage son who is just as sullen and irritable as his father whaaaaaaaaaaaaat) as time goes on.  
  • I'm also loving all the Season 1-Season 6 mirror stuff.  Very Harry Potter.
  • I'm fine with how people who knew each other on the island pre-Incident keep bumping into other island folks, cause that sort of thing happens all the time no duh, but what was up with Dogen being in the alterna-timeline?  I'm not sure why but that just doesn't make any sort of sense, even by Lost standards!
  • It's nice to have Claire back, but does she really have to be a crazy axe-murderer?  I don't want Jin to die.  Kate, sure, but not Jin.
  • What about Widmore?  Why hasn't he been mentioned AT ALL in the past, oh, 15-20 episodes??  Is he the guy Jacob says is coming to the island???  Should I even care????
  • Miles has had, like, TWO LINES this season.  Not cool, writers of Lost.
And here are some non-plot-related Lost things:
  • I didn't know this until surprisingly recently, but Jack's tears have a NAME (jears!), a Facebook page, and a neat video.
  • Geronimo Jack's Beard is the best portmanteau I have ever heard, and it is also a pretty cool podcast that Jorge Garcia does.  Jorge Garcia, the guy who plays Hurley!  It's basically just Jorge Garcia (who, by the way, has been killing it lately) and his lady friend chatting about the mysteries of Lost, as people on a Lost podcast are wont to do, but WITH A TWIST because he's actually on the show and he reads the scripts and stuff. 
  • I'm kind of glad Michael is no longer on the show, to be honest.
  • This is old, but the Lost art show is still great.
  • And also, this Lost subway map.

    Monday, February 15, 2010

    A list of my favorite rom-coms

    Just in time for the day after Valentine's Day!

    I didn't include anything that doesn't fit my own strict definition of what a rom-com is, which is basically "a movie that is somewhere between Legally Blonde and About a Boy."  Obviously, not every movie that is both romantic and comedic is a rom-com, no duh.  Several movies that I love have been left out because they do not fit these rigid requirements.  For example, Pretty in Pink (too many teenagers), The Princess Bride (too much adventure), Amélie (too French), The Science of Sleep (also too French), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (too sad), Benny and Joon (too much mental-patient-as-love-interest) and Chocolat (too serious) are NOT ROM-COMS.  Got it?  Okay.  Here are my 14 favorite rom-coms! 
    1.  About a Boy -What a great movie this is!  Probably the best thing Hugh Grant, the KING of rom-coms, has ever done, and possibly the best thing Nicholas Hoult, aka Tony from Skins, has ever done (is About a Boy better than series one and two of Skins?  WHO KNOWS!!!)  Seriously, so great though.  Oh, and kahdooze to the ladies in About a Boy.  It is, after all, a rom-com, and not just a heart-warming tale of friendship between a lonely man and a misfit child.

    2.  Love Actually - Some people say this one is a bit dumb or unrealistic, to which I say "yeah, but whatever!"  It's got everything you want from a rom-com - Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, romance, comedy, Bill Nighy (?), and happy endings for everyone!  Yay!

    3.  Bridget Jones's Diary - Hugh Grant and Colin Firth, killing it again here.  Both true masters of the art of rom-com. 


    4.  High Fidelity - John Cusack, another master of the form, at his rom-commiest best (Say Anything is also pretty great, but it has the same problem as Pretty in Pink [re: teenagers]).  

    5.  My Big Fat Greek Wedding - Great movie!  Lots of quality laughs.  FUN FACT: this is the only rom-com on my list with Joey "the Fat One" Fatone of N*SYNC in it!

    6.  Knocked Up - I feel like this one barely qualifies since it's so Judd Apatow-y and it's almost too funny.  But Katherine Heigl has been in nothing but rom-coms, so sure, this works.

    7.  10 Things I Hate About You - Heath Ledger probably could have become a rom-com legend if, you know, he didn't die or whatever.

    8.  The Wedding Singer - Adam Sandler is always trying to make SERIOUS ROM-COMS and usually they are pretty bad, but I like this one. 

    9.  Legally Blonde -Classic!

    10.  Miss Congeniality - Also a classic!

    11.  13 Going on 30 - This one is also pretty good!

    12.  Ghost Town - Perfectly nice movie.  Not sure if I buy Ricky Gervais' attempts at becoming a ROM-COM LEADING MAN, though.  That's hard to pull off even when one is not a chubby little fat man.

    13.  (500) Days of Summer -Very cute, but we'll have to wait and see if it becomes a CLASSIC.

    14.  Serendipity - Some people might think this one is very stupid, but I like it. 

    HONORARY MENTION:  Moonstruck, because it's my mom's favorite movie.

    Sunday, January 17, 2010

    A few thoughts on Mongolia

    Last night I had a dream about Mongolia for no discernible reason.  I can't remember the last time I thought about Mongolia, and it's probably been years since I saw the movie Genghis Khan.  Anyways, in this dream I visited the Mongolian countryside and stayed in a yurt.  It was very cold and I had to buy some gloves from a guy on a horse.  I also visited the capital, Ulaanbaatar, which was nice.  I took lots of pictures in both places.

     In commemoration of this event, I have done some research ("done some research" = consulted Wikipedia) on Mongolia.  Here are some interesting bullet points!
    • Mongolia has a population of 2 million people and 20 million goats (10 goats per person!)
    • Ulaanbaatar not only has the highest number of A's in its name (5!) for any world capital (probably!), but it is also the coldest capital in the world, with temperatures regularly reaching -40 degrees Fahrenheit!
    • Mongolians are famous for their throat-singing, which sounds craaaaazy!
    • And there was this American kid whose autism was cured when he went to Mongolia and hung out with some shamans and their horses!