Skins US: the gang learns a valuable lesson about having an outlet for one's creativity

Well that was LAME.  So, the first season of the American Skins has finally ended and WOW was this last episode anticlimactic and stupid and a waste of time!!!  Everyone just whined, talked about their feelings, and partied, and Eura barely even got kidnapped, plus Tony DIDN'T EVEN GET HIT BY THE BUS.  After so many weeks and WEEKS of feverish anticipation of the blessed moment when this stupid, stupid ROBOT TONY would get run over by a moving vehicle (perhaps in slow motion?  And with different vantage points?  A girl can dream) and put into a permanent (possibly life-threatening!) coma, and what?  He just GOES TO SLEEP in the comfort of his own home after sustaining a few MILDLY PAINFUL blows to the head.  Ughhhhhhh this is the stupidest show ever.

But more on that later!

THE BASICS:  It's montage time!  Tony is stuck in bed being miserable, Abbud and Daisy are getting it on, Cadie is at the doctor's, Chris is in his tree house, etc etc.  Eura tries to get her parents' attention by standing in the kitchen and pouring yogurt all over her head.  Stanley and Michelle stand by the unnamed body of water and mumble a heartfelt chat about their relationship.  Stanley is like "Ummmm I like you, Michelle, mumble mumble now I have to go work on my mumble creativity project for mumble class" and Michelle is like "Good idea, Stanley, it would be great for you to . . . find an outlet for . . . your creativity."  Then Eura comes up and gives Michelle a really thoughtful and coherent love note that Tony wrote, only it was intended for Tea.  Michelle figures this out because Tony drew a VERY ACCURATE drawing of Tea's face on the back.  Who knew he was such a talented artist!

"You must express yourself, Stanley!"

Tea is stalking Betty now, but Betty is like "Ew, get away from me, I am no longer interested in you since you let that boy put his PENIS in your VAGINA.  I only date true lesbians."  And Tea is sad.  Meanwhile, Chris and Abbud bond over having relationship problems.  Abbud is worried because he loves Daisy and Chris is fretting over his girlfriend having just gotten arrested for being a rapist.  Tea calls Tony and he's like "WAAAAH DON'T TALK TO ME!!! I'm so pathetic and miserable!  I hate you!" and she's like "I'm sorry for having sex with you" and he's like "WAAAAH JUST KIDDING I TOTALLY LOVE YOU TEA."  Then Tea visits Betty in the hospital, because Betty is in the hospital now, and Betty is like "Why did you come here, I told you to stop stalking me, you're such a bitch!" and Tea is like "I resent that."  Then Betty is like "just kidding, I totally love you, Tea."  Tony keeps calling Stanley but he's like "Oh, piss off, Tony" and then he's like "I can't go eat fish and chips with you, I'm too busy watching cricket on the telly."  Cadie shows up at Stan's and they make out, but Michelle is watching from afar and she looks CRUSHED.

Then Eura gets kidnapped, and so of course the entire gang has to go to a crazy show to save her.  Tony gets into some sort of brawl and some guys punch his head.  Meanwhile, Stanley wanders backstage and finds Eura just hanging out.  Stanley is like "confused" and Eura is like "Oh, I wasn't kidnapped, Stan, I just staged the whole thing to get Tony out of bed.  I have a flair for the dramatic, you see.  Also, I wanted to show you how important it is to express oneself.  You should really get an outlet for your creativity, Stan" and then Cadie shows up and is like "I agree, Eura.  Stanley should find an outlet for his creativity."  Then Stanley gets onstage and belts out a Depeche Mode song while Cadie provides accompaniment.  Everyone is really happy that Stanley found an outlet for his creativity.

Tony gets home 100% safely and goes to bed.  Stanley and Michelle make out while Chris barfs in the background.  Que romantique!

100% not run over by a bus.

THINGS THAT WERE BAD:

• TONY DOESN'T GET RUN OVER!!!!  I was seriously looking forward to this for so long.  It was the shining light at the end of a terribly acted tunnel.  So, this means there are ZERO cliffhangers for the next season, if there is a next season, and if there are indeed more episodes of this dumb show, Tony will probably be in ALL OF THEM.  And to think that the perfect opportunity to get rid of him forever was just sitting right there and the guys who make this show thought "No, getting rid of Tony would be a BAD IDEA!  Let's go out of our way to KEEP HIM ON THE SHOW!"  Ugggggggggghh I don't understand.
• I cannot YAWN hard enough over all those love triangles and boxes.  Two of the hottest girls vying for the affections of STANLEY???  Come the fuck on.  Tony having human emotions and being able to express them to other people?  Come the fuck on even more.
• The sing-along?  LAME.  It wasn't really a sing-along and it took place in a totally normal environment for singing.  Singing on a stage with microphones and musical instruments?  Unheard of!
• Eura kidnapping herself to make a point about Tony being lazy and Stanley needing to "express himself"?  On the one hand, LOLOLOL.  On the other hand, STUPID.  That's what this entire season of her not speaking was building up to?  What a wasted opportunity.

THINGS THAT WERE GOOD:

• I'm glad I learned how important it is to have an outlet for one's creativity.

OTHER THOUGHTS:

• So, even though this episode was stupid and frustratingly anticlimactic, it turns out that the American Skins was not as terrible as it could have been.  It got better after a few episodes, and some of the acting that was so HORRENDOUSLY AWFUL at the beginning improved over time (Tony, of course, just got worse and worse).  But overall, it was like a dumb and generally poorly acted but still entertaining version of the normal Skins.  I didn't mind watching it!  I guess it would be a shame if it got canceled now, since it was starting to find its own voice about halfway through this season, and these poor kids were just beginning to get a hang of the acting thing.  Having said that, though, I am SO EXCITED to get back to the quality acting and wordless theme song and bright colors and country-specific slang and city-specific references and meaningful conversations on benches of the real Skins.  AHHHH can't wait!!!