SKINS:

So, this last episode was a continuation of the DRUGS and PARTYING YEAH! + family drama theme from last week's ep, but with Nick instead of Liv.  It was pretty fun!  Nick is more of a cheeseball than I had initially supposed, and it was fun to watch the rugby team be way over-the-top homoerotic.  RECAP.

Nick plays rugby!  He's like the captain or something.  The rugby team is really classy and totally manly.  They're always like "Last man to the shower is a HOMO!" and "See you later, you big GAY!" and "Cheers, HOMO!"  Really manly stuff.  Also, Nick's friend who wears plaid looks like this at some point:

 Asshole.

Nick's brother Matty is moving back in, but their dad is not so happy about it because last time Matty was there he like went berserk and busted things up with some golf clubs.  Their dad is a motivational speaker who is really intense and angry all the time, but Nick seems to like him a lot.  Probably because they are both total cheeseballs.  Nick, for example, likes to say things like "Chillax, Dad!" and "Sweet as!"  Total cheeseball.  Anyways, Matty is being a nice, not violent/homeless guy now, and Nick is like "Things are totally cool with us now!" but you can tell things are NOT totally cool because when Liv comes over to have raucous sex with Matty, Nick gets the weirdest incestuous boner.  Awkward!

Then Nick goes over to Mini's and they have another one of those intensely awkward sex scenes.  PLEASE NO MORE OF THESE.  Then Nick goes to school and WAIT HOLD ON what the everliving FUCK is Mini wearing?!?!?!

???????????????

AHEM.  Nick is like so excited that Matty is going to school again!  He introduces them to his rugby mates, but Matty is like "ugh, no thanks."  Their dad goes to a meeting with them, but he's really tacky and intense, and Matty is like "ugh, how can you stand our dad, Nick, he's so tacky and intense" and Nick is like "What are you TALKING about, our dad is AWESOME!!!"  Then Nick introduces Matty to the gang and Franky is like "It's YOU! omg you are so dreamy."  Matty tells a joke about how he gave lots of blowjobs when he was homeless and Nick is like "Haha NO, that's not true!  My brother is NOT a homo, why would you think that!!!"

Meanwhile, Nick is getting ready for the big game on Friday.  His friend who wears plaid says something about how Matty is a "miniature gay" and Liv is a "manky bitch" and so Nick PUMMELS him.  Then he has a romantic massage session with the rugby coach, who is like totally from South Africa.

The gang all go out to a PARTY that night and Nick gets CRAZY because he's stressed about the big game, and his girl troubles, etc. etc.  He gets super wasted and punches the rugby guy who wears plaid in the face when he makes fun of Matty again.  GOOD.  Violence is the answer.  Mini finally confronts Nick about how he fucked her best friend, but things do not go down well.  Nick goes home and is like "Hey Dad, my life is super fucked up right now, I need to confide in a trusting adult" but his dad is like "No can do!" because he's angry about how this guy he was motivating to stop being a homo killed himself.  So Nick grabs his dad's golf clubs and goes on a crazy RAMPAAAAAAAAGE, just like Matty did before! 

Then Nick saunters drunkenly off into the night, swigs one of those little bottles of vodka that these guys are always carrying around, stops at Liv's, leaves Liv's, and runs into a friendly prostitute.  The prostitute is like "You look fucked, let me give you a freebie" and so she gives them and freebie and they do COPIOUS AMOUNTS of cocaine but then Nick leaves mid-fuck because he sees all these pictures of the prostitute's children and is reminded that he is himself a child, and children must not have sex with prostitutes and do lots of cocaine even if it is all free.  

DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS!

Then he heads straight to the playground and chills on a swing set because he is NOT a fan of subtlety.  Franky pops up and gives him a pep talk because she LOVES giving pep talks to the people in the gang who have been meanest to her.  Nick is like "I'm such a dick!  I need to change!" and Franky is like "This is true.  But you can do it!"

Then Nick goes to the rugby match and tells his coach that he's quitting because those rugby guys are not a good influence!  They're making him be all homophobic and dickish.  So he quits rugby and heads home to accept responsibility for the damage caused by his RAMPAAAAAAGE.  He's like "Dad, you are also a bad influence, I wish you'd stop being such a CUNT" and then Nick and Matty burn all their dad's motivational posters in the backyard.  Just like, on the ground.  It's not even a self-contained fire.  

Fire to burn painful memories #458

THOUGHTS:

• Nick is alright.  I like his cheeseballiness.  And I think he is the first ATHLETE in the history of Skins?  It's weird how there have been no athletes before!  Also, someone on YouTube made the astute observation that no one on Skins has ever been seen wearing a backpack.  Huh!  That's kind of odd, considering this is a show about children who go to school.  Grace has a nice satchel and I'm pretty sure Tony had a shoulder bag, but no backpacks!  WEIRD.
• Wow, everyone's families are all CRAZY fucked up except for Franky's, whose family of two dads is very nice and balanced and normal!  Pushing the GAY AGENDA much, Skins?
• There was one part where the guy Matty was fighting with was like "Go back to your TARDIS!" perhaps in reference to his Captain Jack coat, only I don't that is actually what was said.  Would that it were, though.
• Some good LOLs this ep.  And I liked Matty's "super sincere!" faces.  

• Not entirely related, but BREAKING NEWS!  John Lydon finally, FINALLY weighs in on the Real Skins vs. American Skins debate.  Turns out he loooooves Real Skins and hates American Skins because it is "really naff," the acting is horrendous, and "something went wrong there."