SKINS: fashion, dark secrets, general bitchery, etc.

So, this was the Mini episode, the one in which her terrible secret is revealed and I am made to sympathize with her in spite of her being exactly like all of the worst self-absorbed, evil, passive-aggressive total bitches I have ever known in life and Project Runway (HATE YOU GRETCHEN hate hate hate).  Good one, I guess?  How about a RECAP?

Mini is 100% evil, and she wears one of those horrifying eye masks that have realistic-looking eyes on them, like the kind Matilda's mom wears in the movie Matilda, because evil people wear evil eye masks when they sleep.  Mini eats like five sunflower seeds for breakfast, works out, struts her stuff past the rugby team, and has a meeting with her . . . fashion class?  Who are getting ready for a charity runway show.  Grace did some redesigns with help from Franky, but of course Mini hates them with a fiery passion because Franky was involved, so she fires Grace and appoints herself as head model.  Then Grace FINALLY tells Mini off for being a rude bitch and Mini is offended that her precious ears were cursed on.

Meanwhile, Nick is excited because he has his house to himself this weekend.  He tells Mini, "I'm excited because I have the house to myself this weekend!  Let's have sex!  We haven't had sex yet, and I would like to have sex!  Look, I have condoms in my pocket!!!" and Mini is like "Yeah, sounds great, I've had so much sex before and would love to have some with you!" but you can tell that it does NOT sound great and Mini has NOT had so much sex before because she has a very pained and worried look on her face.  Turns out her DEEP DARK SECRET is that she's a virgin?  Okay.

Then Mini concocts a series of increasingly convoluted barriers to having to be intimate with her boyfriend.  First she's like "Oh, I can't go to your place because I promised Liv we'd go BOWLING!" then it's "We're all having so much fun bowling, let's do another round!" to "Oops, we can't go to yours now because your keys have mysteriously disappeared, probably somewhere in the bowling alley which we are locked out of and definitely not in my purse!" and "Now we're guests at a friend's house, it would be rude to have sex here!" then "But this is awkward, Liv and that guy who wears plaid are banging right over there!" and finally "Whoops, I just threw up all over you!"

 Nick finally catches on that there is some fishy business, and Liv is like "yeah, I know, right?"  They share some meaningful glances.  Mini goes to the fashion show and starts yelling at Liv for dancing with her boyfriend.  Then she faints from all the stress and hatred and not eating brewing in her belly.  The fashion teacher (???) tells her to go home, which she does, but then she comes back and watches the whole show from afar.  Everyone is having fun without her!  Grace is adorable!  Liv is her best friend!  Nick looks hot in his tacky male stripper outfit!

Grace's outfit!

There's a party afterwards and shit goes DOWN.  Mini is being a paranoid bitch and so Nick ditches her and him and Liv go have sex?  UH OH.  Mini is CRUSHED.  She goes to pout in a corner and she's looking REALLY sad so Franky of all people sits down and has a meaningful chat with her about how she should stop being a bitch and be nice to her friends because friends are something you should cherish.  Rich and Grace share a chaste kiss, the Mysterious Guy from the Quarry and gives an INTENSE LOOK to Franky before vanishing, etc etc.  Then Mini has a massive fight with Liv and tells Nick to leave so they can have sex and he's like "Ummm . . . did you not see . . . your best friend?  Me???" but Mini is clearly insane, so she's like "NOW GRRRRR" and they go off and have sex and it's the absolute most awkward thing ever.  The next morning, Mini mopes and mopes and mopes.

THOUGHTS:

• Mini's DARK SECRET was not as horrific as I imagined, but I guess it makes sense.  Although it wouldn't have been such a terrible problem for her if she wasn't such a bitch all of the time and did not brag about her sexual prowess?  So I can't offer ONE HUNDRED percent of my sympathies to her, but she did have a lot of VERY very sad looks going on, so.  Is she going to be nice to everyone now?  Did Franky's kind message get through to her mean brain?  Will there actually be a "gang" at some point??
• Still don't like Mini too much, but the girl who plays her is great and it's . . . interesting to . . . watch her mouth move?  (I can't word that any less awkwardly, sorry!)
• Nick is kind of a dick, right?  And I'm going to have to sympathize with him, too, at some point, of course.  OH FINE.
• They still haven't addressed why Liv looks EXACTLY like Jal.  It's weird!  Like 80% of the comments on YouTube are something along the lines of "Is it just me or do Liv and Jal look EXACTLY THE SAME lol!"
• What's the deal with the Mysterious Guy from the Quarry?  Why was he at the fashion show dance?  It doesn't seem like he'd be the kind of person to go to a fashion show dance.  He's a hobo and no one seems to know him!  Is he stalking Franky?  Does he even go to school???  SO MANY MYSTERIES!
• Grace's outfits!  Still the best.  And Rich's METAL formal wear!

Formal wear!  So METAL!